I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
