Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
