I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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