hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
this just has baby written all over it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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