There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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