Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do herpes really smell.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
