For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
