it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
