Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
