I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
