I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
