So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
