whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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