I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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