his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
