u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
