Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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