i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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