All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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