I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
