she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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