even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
