Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
