glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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