He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
