I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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