Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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