Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
