Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
