At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
