Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
