wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
