im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
