yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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