Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
