the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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