My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
