i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
