Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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