the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
