My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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