I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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