That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
