R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
