Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
