Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
