Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
