hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
