okay pat passed out under dana's car
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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