Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
