Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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