On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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